IN MEDIAS RES

I just used a chili mix that expired exactly one year ago.

I’d already cut up two whole tomatoes, and rinsed out some black beans, before I checked.

If I’m not on here in two days’ time… well, goodbye then.

Here’s a reason I didn’t invent Starbucks.

White Chocolate Hot Chocolate Tea Milk.

morninggloria:

kelsium:

A posting on the student listserve:

“I left my bike at the Art Building for a few days and it went missing. If you borrowed it to get across campus that is totally cool, however I am hoping to get it back sometime soon.”

This is my school in two sentences.

Once, a friend of mine had his bike stolen on campus at my alma mater.  About a week later, he was walking up to his dorm and saw one of the stars of the football team (who now plays for the Houston Texans) riding his bike up to the bike rack.  The football player noticed him there and said, “Hey, man, want to buy a bike?”

“Dude!  That’s my fucking bike!”

The football player nonchalantly leaned it against the rack, shrugged, and walked away.

Two years ago, I left my bike outside my dorm. Didn’t ride it for weeks because one of the wheels was broken. I started walking to class and saw someone had taped a note to the handlebar. This angelic person had fixed the wheel, and left a note letting me know exactly how to in case it happened again. There was no name.

About a year later, someone stole that bike from outside the building I worked in.

Clusterphobia.

It’s a real thing.

Not something to be laughed at, YOU.

Who can honestly say this photo of a seemingly cute dog doesn’t gross you out, just a little bit.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent is really just background noise for what you really want to do with your spare time.

For Helen, that’s sharing a blanket and a box of mallomars and watching Animalympics.